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Goa is a stark contrast to Mumbai with its greenery, trees, the Indian ocean and just nature itself. The air is definitely a lot cleaner, even if trash is still a problem. Much to our disappointment, we came to find out that we really shouldn't swim in the water due to it being somewhat dangerous. All I know is that if I didn't see any of the Indians getting in the water despite being at the beach, I sure as heck was not going to get in the water myself!
We still had a lot of fun playing on the beach, walking along the shore, playing in the sand, and getting drenched by rogue waves; sneaker waves, I think they're called. Waves that are unexpectedly bigger than they seem and ones that drench you.
One of the reasons that Alim has female bloggers is to see their perspective in India, which is a patriarchial society as some of you may already know. I am aware of this, and it is difficult at times, due to being a strong person myself, not to get upset over things that happen. But it is inevitable and the four of us actually had a lengthy discussion about that last night.
First, let me back up and explain a bit: when we first arrived and secured a hostel at Anjuna Beach, we went for dinner at a local place near the beach. Once we walked in and sat down, a guy brought over our menus and passed them out to Bus, Tamer, and Wyatte. He started to walk away and I gestured that I didn't get one, the guy gave me a look that basically said, "...and your point is?". That really got to me and I lost what little appetite I had. I kept saying that I was fine and that I wasn't that hungry (which was true at that point). I kept telling myself to just relax, that it wasn't personal, that it's just their culture, and so on. After all, who am I to come to their country and their home and tell them how they should behave just because it is offensive to me? I am sure that some of my behaviors or the fact that I even eat beef might be offensive to some of them.
Not everyone is like that though and Goa does seem more progressive compared to Mumbai. We saw quite a few women driving motobikes rather than merely sitting on the back of them, which was a common sight in Mumbai. In some cases, the guys were sitting on the back of the motobikes behind the women!
When we rented motobikes, the original plan was to rent 4, but that didn't work out after the guy would only let us take 2 and dictated who could drive and who couldn't. I was surprised that he was ok with me driving one in the first place, and especially after taking the other two motobikes away from us. I shouldn't have to be surprised by that, but in this place, I am. That's due to the nature of things here. Really, it just depends on where you go and who you encounter.
During our discussion about this last night, it was interesting to see the different perspectives that we all had regarding this issue. One guy suggested that the inequality was merely perceived in that way due to expectations built up prior to commencing the trip. Basically, that it was simply psychological and that it really wasn't as bad as I thought, to which I retorted that it was easy for him to say due to his gender status, and not experiencing it firsthand.
This is not to say that it is horrible here and that I feel extremely disgraced as a woman, no. Actually, it is merely that, yes, I do acutely feel the inequality here as compared to America. At the same time, I am pleasantly surprised. I do have to wonder if it is different for me due to my race and nationality? I am curious to talk to Indian women about their perceptions and to see the perceptions of the other females of our group once they arrive.
Another guy suggested that I should be blunt and refuse to stand for that kind of treatment. That I should tell people who do that in no uncertain terms that it is simply unacceptable behavior. I responded that I was uncomfortable with doing that because again, who are we to come to their country and tell them how they should and shouldn't behave? Generally, I am just as assertive as I can possibly be and if I sense that I am treading on the boundary of acceptable vs. unacceptable behavior by their standards, then I back off and respect that and their culture. It is a huge learning experience for all of us and obviously there's no right or wrong answer/reaction for everything.
We leave tonight for another long train ride. Destination: Bangalore! We are excited for the rest of our group to join us, and Smitha is already there with her family, I believe.
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5 comments:
Now I gotta say something here - if a given situation where woman is appeared to be oppressed in one form or another - keep in mind - this is coming from a country where woman ARE allowed to ride their own mopad, motorbike, scooter or whatchamacallit - you would think that the awareness and understanding need to take in form of taking aggressive actions by making a stance. If someone is to tell me that it's something that have to be accepted and that it's their cultures then we may as well leave the Middle East alone to their own version of female oppressions. How is that any different from going to India and giving empowerment to the deaf? The deaf r being oppressed there and we're going there to share our experiences and show that they can make a difference and yet we can't do that to women's equality? That just doesn't make any sense.
For clairifcation, when I mentioned that perhaps there is some psychological bias, I was not implying that all the discrimination is made up and I slightly resent the way my comment was portrayed because I feel it distorts what I originally was trying to say which was from my perspective and not trying to put words in KT's mouth.
This is a very sensitive issue and even now we're still heatly talking about it on the way to the train station.
For clairifcation, when I mentioned that perhaps there is some psychological bias, I was not implying that all the discrimination is made up and I slightly resent the way my comment was portrayed because I feel it distorts what I originally was trying to say which was from my perspective and not trying to put words in KT's mouth.
This is a very sensitive issue and even now we're still heatly talking about it on the way to the train station.
Anonymous, you are definitely right. I totally agree with your comments. Katie, we can be nice and same time be aggressive. We, women, have to prove Indians that we are not allowed to be oppressed by them just beacuse of their beliefs. Indian women may not speak up for themselves because Indian men may kill them for disrespecting them. Us? Phft! They CAN NOT hurt us, therefore, we need to help Indian women out by speaking up for them.
That is not how you put it last night, you said to me that you honestly felt that it was not that bad and that it was just a psychological bias on my part, that I was allowing my expectations to influence my perception.
Then when you attempted to further support your point earlier tonight, you stated that based on what you heard, you were expecting to see women not being able to wear tank tops abd being completely oppressed by men. You added that it was faar from that when you actually arrived, which would lead me to say that perhaps it was a psychological bias on your part and not mine as you stated last night.
I honestly did not have many expectations coming here despite hearing the same things that you likely did. Thus, I have been both surprised and not surprised at some of the realities that we have encountered on this trip so far.
And yes it is a sensitive issue which is why I was so taken aback by your comment abd I will leave it at that.
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